Paunch Burger’s Four Horse-meals Of The Egg-pork-alypse

The Four Horse-meals Of The Egg-pork-alypse is a legendary burger concoction from the satirical world of Parks and Recreation. This epic meal combines the heartiness of multiple meats and the richness of eggs to create a powerful and indulgent eating experience. The dish's name humorously riffs on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, emphasizing its magnitude and indulgent nature. This recipe is a fictional marvel that captures the spirit of American fast-food indulgence, epitomizing excess in a whimsical, comedy-infused format.

Ingredients

• Hamburger Buns - 4
• Ground Beef - 2 lbs
• Bacon - 12 slices
• Sausage Patties - 4
• Eggs - 8
• Cheddar Cheese - 8 slices
• Onion Rings - 8
• Mayonnaise - 1/2 cup
• Ketchup - 1/2 cup
• Mustard - 1/4 cup
• Lettuce (optional)
• Tomato slices (optional)
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions

Preparation

1. Prepare the onion rings according to package instructions or homemade recipe.
2. Lightly toast the hamburger buns for added texture and flavor.
3. Prepare a large skillet or grill.

Cooking Process

Step 1: Cook the Meats

1. Form the ground beef into 8 even patties.
2. Season the ground beef patties with salt and pepper.
3. Place the ground beef patties onto the preheated skillet or grill and cook for 4-5 minutes on each side, or until cooked to your preferred doneness.
4. In a separate pan, cook the bacon until crispy and drain on paper towels.
5. Cook the sausage patties in the leftover bacon fat for added flavor, until golden brown on each side.

Step 2: Cook the Eggs

1. Crack the eggs into the bacon skillet, and cook sunny side up for 2-3 minutes, or until the whites are set and the yolks are still runny.

Step 3: Assemble the Burger

1. Spread mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard onto the bottom half of each bun.
2. Place a cooked ground beef patty on the bottom bun followed by a cheddar cheese slice.
3. Add two slices of bacon and then top with a cooked sausage patty.
4. Place a sunny side egg onto the piling and add an onion ring over the egg.
5. Repeat the layers for a second beef patty stack in the burger.
6. Garnish with lettuce and tomato slices if desired.
7. Top with the remaining bun half and press the burger gently.

How to Enjoy

The Four Horse-meals Of The Egg-pork-alypse is best enjoyed fresh and hot. Serve with a side of fries or more onion rings, and a refreshing drink. Given its towering construction, a knife and fork may be handy, though attempting to bite into it whole can be an enjoyable challenge. Revel in the combination of flavors and textures—a true testament to comfort food.